In This Page I Write My Last Confession

Have I Told You Today How Lucky I Am

2008-08-31T02:42:03Z

Dear Life,

I'm exactly where I want to be right now!

Thank You.

It's Delightful, It's D'lovely

2008-08-17T03:40:38Z

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD more to come later

Czolgosz Angry Man

2008-08-09T22:09:43Z

Well excuse me for being an innocent bystander to your "tragic" life. Excuse me but it seems to me that you're so full of self-pity that we're not allowed to poke fun. Excuse me for you not realizing everything that you've got.

BUT, you having problems with your girlfriend is not my fault at all. You being mad at me for not being able to tell you what love is because you don't after three years is absolute bullshit. If you don't know whether or not you love her anymore, well then maybe it's time to leave. But you know what it is not time for? It's not time for blaming me or the rest of this family for all of your problems. I learned that at 17. Maybe you can learn it at 22.

Don't dish out what you can't take in. Don't blame your entire life on the death of your father. I won't use that excuse, and he was my father too.

Find a way to fix yourself, and don't take it out on me. I never did that to you.

Peace and love to everyone else but him,

DiRito

romance_stars @ 2008-08-05T21:26:00

2008-08-06T01:26:52Z

Hi, my name is Brian DiRito...

AND I AM SEEING JASON MRAZ ON DECEMBER 5TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the Beauty is

2008-07-30T01:42:28Z

SO....

I've decided what the most beautiful thing in the world is (See image above). There is nothing better. Ballerinas are the embodiment of beauty, grace, and elegance. The world would be bland without them. I understand why Degas loved them. Ballerinas are truly the most beautiful people that have graced us with their presence.

Peace and Love,

DiRito

Look at What You Want Not at Where You Are

2008-07-21T19:10:42Z

I strangely found inspiration listening to this show last night. As I fell asleep listening to this piece, my dream was somewhat inspired by it. This song made an appearance in it. When I woke up, I felt like there was something I had to do.

I am writing a new play. It's specifically about certain people in my life. It's probably going to be too long for districts submission. But that's not what's important. The play itself is what's important.

Peace and Love, but always mostly love,

DiRito

The Little Things

2008-07-21T02:38:17Z

Whoever said that appreciating the little things in life makes you happy couldn't be more correct. This summer has been so good, but in sort of a funny sense because I really haven't done much.

1. I saw THE DARK KNIGHT

2. I've gotten full nights of sleep, something that hasn't been done in a while.

3. I've started to get prepared for college auditions and looked at college audition dates.

4. I already have my Brigadoon piece and have been rehearsing it for a bit.

5. I've made peace with my mother.

6. I've made peace with myself and feel like I'm beginning to make it with others.

7. I remember who I was, and have returned to that

I found that I've become genuinely happy. I sometimes have trouble merely going sleep because I am thinking of such wonderful things and they won't stop. But I'm not complaining. Bringing myself to fully appreciating everything I have and everything that I am has brought so much light to myself that it is unbelievable. I don't ever want to lose this happiness.

I have a feeling this is going to be a wonderful senior year. GO '09!

Peace and Love, but oh so much love,

DiRito

AP Scores

2008-07-17T20:06:53Z

APUSH- 3 :) / :(

Lit- 2 HA!

I knew I would pass APUSH, I just thought I got like a 4.

As for Lit, I may have passed if I did that essay instead fo writing the lyrics to ALDOLFO!

Oh well, I passed. Which is def a win.

Peace and Love, but always mostly Love,

DiRito

Shall We Dance and Walk on Air?

2008-07-03T02:23:45Z

I've decided my life's goal is to make such a name for myself as a performer that I will be considered the next Fred Astaire. All I need to do is find my Ginger Rogers and then it's off to make some magic.

I'm Feeling Lucky, Like a Little Boy

2008-07-02T02:14:57Z

I have had this weird thing going on for a little while now. It's kinda of unusual, but I'm really digging it. I have been on this high for a while, and it's a high on the joys of life. I find myself smiling for no reason. There's a bounce to my step when I walk. I won't let anything bother me. As Fred Astaire sang:

"I'm up among the stars
On Earthly things unbound
I'm throwing off the bars that held me down"

This is a truly wonderful feeling. Beind sad and negative makes things harder and days longer. But being happy just makes everything brighter. I think I have finally found my place of zen, my Secret Garden. I'm at a place that feels so good and is so perfect that I never want anything to bring me down from it.

PS: I've decided that women are the greatest thing on the planet. NO, not for sexual purposes!!!!!!!!! I decided this merely because they are the key to happiness and prosperity. Go girls! You Rock!

Peace and Love, but always mostly love,

DiRito :D

Edit: I've even found a way to get along with my mother. CHYEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody's Got the Right to be Happy part 2

2008-06-23T22:44:42Z

Since that horrible night when I got to a point of absolute nuisance and lost control of my thoughts and action, there have been three other occasions like that one. However, I have not gotten to the point of mental incapacitation, nor have I even gotten anywhere close to that point. I've remained in control, and very happy that I am.

Due to this superior grasp of control, benefits have come my way. I met the most wonderful girl a couple of days ago. She acts a little bit, she is my age, she's super cute, and she is so nice and funny. But most importantly, she matched me in a Guitar Hero match. For those of who do not know, this hasn't happened since I've reached my skill level with anyone that I've played in person.

Good things are coming. Maybe. Hopefully. But I just feel it in my gut. The sun, moon, and stars are looking down upon me and smiling. They tell me to go out and get it, and I promise them that I will.

Peace, love, song, and dance, but still mostly love,

DiRito

I remember hearts that beat

2008-06-15T01:48:01Z

"I remember honey lips and words so true
I remember nonstop earthquake dreams of you
You're coming on fast like good dreams do
All night long"

-Still, Matt Nathanson, Some Mad Hope

I remember what could be said as the good old days. Those days when I felt happy are still in perfect memory. They were not too long ago, so it makes sense that my memories are so vivid and happy. There's just one problem. These memories do not take place here, let alone even in this state.

For all of the memories I have had where my family was at peace, I was away from home. For all of the memories that I was loving the people I was close with, I was away from home. For all of the memories that my actions were just and I was the righteous man, I was away from home.

For all of the memories of when I was happy, I was away from home.

I have never been happier to be a senior. One more year, and then you won't see my face until I am on the stage. Let's just hope that my peace has fully been reached by then.

Love and Peace but mostly Love,

DiRito

A Year in Retrospect

2008-06-03T02:19:46Z

I could very much do an in depth review of Junior Year. But instead I'm going to sum it up in song lyrics.

School:
Yeah you're fucked alright and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked well they'll mess you up
Well you know their gonna try

Drama:
You clear away the dead parts,
So the tender buds can form,
Loosen up the earth and
Let the roots get warm,
Let the roots get warm.

Come a mild day, come a warm rain,
Come a snowdrop, a-comin' up!
Come a lily, come a lilac!
Come to call,
Callin' all the rest to come and see!

Crushes:
This is wanting something, this praying for it,
This is holding breath and keeping fingers crossed.
This is counting blessings, this is wondering when I’ll see that boy again.
I’ve got a feeling he’s just a someone, too.
And the beauty is, when you realize, when you realize,
Someone could be looking for a someone like you.

Life:
Words are flowing out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

There's a Moment You Know You're Fucked

2008-05-29T22:35:20Z

Yeah, you’re fucked all right – and all for spite
You can kiss your sorry ass goodbye
Totally fucked – will they mess you up?
Well you know they’re gonna try

This is not the way I intended on ending out the year. Not at all. I began to reach zen and find peace. No tensions towards anyone, I was fine. Nothing could bring me down, until I looked in the mirror and saw changes that were coming in myself that I will not allow. FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!

1. I'm starting to become a regular guy. Not to the extent of regular perversion, but the people I've been around lately have been tampering with my thoughts. My mind must take a stand against this. I've nothing against these people, but I must not let them cahnge my persona.

2. I've become rather fond of self-sabotage in my own home. I do something right, and then immediately do something stupid to fuck me over. It's become rather obnoxious and annoying.

3. I feel like I'm longing for something. I've been having recent dreams where I'm trying to get something. Sometimes I get it and sometimes I don't. I need to figure out what it is.

4. WTF COLLEGE AUDITIONS IN A FEW MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MANY OTHER THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some good things:

1. Brigadoon. Excited for the show, mostly the dancing. :)

2. Spring Awakening at CSI. Although I'm not in it, a lot of cool people are in it and I'm really excited to see them perform.

3. EDGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully.

4. Lesson with Melanie next week. I haven't had one since the week before banquet, and I miss her and need to discuss the shows with her next week and start doing pieces and everything else in life.

5. Seeing Etai today. It's fun to see the man who guy who got me to find a passion in musical theatre. He's also the reason why I got inspired to make this my life.

romance_stars @ 2008-05-21T20:37:00

2008-05-22T00:47:32Z

God I completely despise our broward county schools sometimes. I have been on this crazy rush of good mood days since the end of the AP English exam. Nothing has been bringing me down. No tensions towards anybody, just completely relaxed.

And then my teachers pull fast ones to make me not necessarily have a bad day, but to kill some of my good vibes.

Anyways things to look forward to:

1. Watching Across the Universe in McKinley

2. Indiana Jones on Friday

3. BANQUET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. SYTYCD Thursday.

5. Exams to be over.

6. SUMMER!!!!!!

Hopefully I'll have a job during the summer so I can make so money so I can afford senior year.

Peace and Love,

DiRito

We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things

2008-05-12T22:20:31Z

So practically 13 hours I posted my last post God struck me with an epiphany. It basically came from music. I was suddenly inspired to realize this:

"Hey, you're a DiRito. You're destined to be knocked on your ass so many times, some of those times by your own doing. But guess what, you always get back up. That's what being a DiRito is all about."

So I realize that hey:

1. I'm not alone.

2. The past is the past. No need to wallow in it.

3. Only a year left until I'm outta here.

Peace and Love but mostly Love,

DiRito

Stumbling Through the Work That I Have to Do Don't Mean to Harm You

2008-05-11T01:42:51Z

I am going to keep my promise in that there is much, much to post.

1. Melody Lingers On proved to be very nice in the end. The audience loved it, and it felt like we all did what was right. Even though I had a large bomb dropped on me at dress rehearsal.

2. I'm over school. I need to be a senior and graduate.

3. States was rather enjoyable and entertaining. I was physically abused on the bus by the bus itself, my roomies were hilarious, the one act got straight sup's, the pianist fucked up my music, there weren't many impressive individual events, I thoroughly connected to "Look Homeward, Angel", I spent the state's dance with Julian, things didn't necessarily go as planned in a certain aspect. But in the end it was still fun, just not as fun as Les Mis. But then again, it couldn't have been.

4. I'm over school. I need to be a senior and graduate.

5. I really want to do the large group next year. I just need to do it with someone so I don't go as crazy as I did with MLO.

6. I'm over school. I need to be a senior and graduate.

7. I, uh, I don't know how to say this. I can't bear to look at you, because looking at you makes me look at myself, and when I do I want to just die with what I see. I don't see myself at all, I see someone that's disgraceful and worthless. I'm not who I used to be. All of my values, everything that made me who I was, that uniquely kind boy, left when you did. I can't even think straight, because there is no one left to clear my thoughts. And the worst part of it all, is deep down I still care about you. I saw you upset a week ago from tonight and it killed me to know that there was nothing I could do. IT BROKE MY HEART. I also know the truth. The only person to blame is myself. I'm not asking for you back, because I do not deserve it. I just want to tell you this. I've just decomposed without you, and it's all my fault.

romance_stars @ 2008-05-08T22:13:00

2008-05-09T02:21:47Z

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Much, much more to come on the way.

Everybody's Got the Right to be Happy

2008-04-20T23:36:21Z

What the fuck man, WHAT THE FUCK!?

Could I possibly be the biggest fucking douchebag in the world? Hmm, I absolutely think so.

I never fucking let myself get that way. Not at all. It's fucking meseed up, it's fucking fucked up, and its just fucking wrong. There was no reason for it. Absolutely none.

The more and more I think about it, the more disgusted I am with myself.

I hope people are pissed off at me, it's what I deserve. I cannot believe I let myself do that, I cannot believe that I personally am the biggest fucking asshole to roam this planet.

Just fuck man, what the fuck? I have never ever been so mad with myself.

peace and love, but mostly love

DiRito

I Wish I Could Go Back To College

2008-04-04T23:46:38Z

This has been a rather enjoyable Spring break

Day 0: Hanging with Austin after school playing Rock Band and driving around

Day 1: Harry Potter Lunch-in, Hanging with Ju, ~~Mean Girls~~ Hanging with others and not paying attention to Mean Girls

Day 2: Stephen Schwartz Workshop, Hanging with Zach

Day 3: Personal Down Time

Day 4: Leave for Gainesville and arrive at night.

Day 5: UF Tour: Kinda interesting. First opens up with some lame movie about getting accepted to UF and what it's like there. THen one of the admissions officers spoke to us and paced around like she was a Nazi schoolteacher. Then the actual tour was pretty good. Saw the football stadium and had the tour guides tell us why they came. Then I left for Tallahassee.

Day 6: FSU TOUR!!!!!!!!!: Start off early in the morning and head on over to FSU. First comment when I see the school is OH MY GOD THE FOOTBALL STADIUM IS A FREAKING CASTLE! Then the tour was awesome and I took millions of pictures. On the way back I passed by someone who looked kinda familiar, both of us take a double take, and it turns out to be Josh Crespi. After that was an admissions meeting that told me everything there was to know about getting into the program. Then I mosied around waiting for a chance to tour the Theatre Department. So I decide to check out one of the dorms. I ring the doorbell and who shows up to answer the door, DALTON RICHARDSON! He told us everything good about the school and showed us his dorm. After that was lunch in the Suwanee Room in which one of the cashiers is the FSU version of Mrs. Green. Then a tour of the Theatre in which I learn that FSU's audition is the #1 hardest in the nation. Holy Crap. After this we leave for Orlando and UCF.

Day 7: UCF Tour: Start off just walking around the school because we had to sign up for a tour at the actual school. So I eat chick fill-a on campus and just start walking around. Then the tour in which we actually got to speak to the Admissions officer and he told us everything he looks for in an application. Then a tour with a pretty humorous tour guide. Randomly within this tour me and David Cohen cross paths. Then dinner. Then Parade at UCF. They did a pretty good job with their small stage and such an ambitious piece. I just wish I could've seen Greg in it. But Erika Deihl was on crew and it was funny to randomly see her moving part of the set.

Day 8: Come home. Read Color Purple. Play Rock Band.

New Order For Colleges I Want To Go To:
1. University of Michigan
2. BoCo
3. FSU
4. SUNY Purchase
5. ?

Hey Jude

2008-03-30T21:12:42Z

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
And you will start to make it better.

and

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because we can't understand.

I Left Columbia and I Don't Regret It

2008-03-23T02:17:43Z

SATs came in

Reading- 540

Math- 610

Essay- 610

Eh, I guess that's okay. It's 160 points less than what I wanted, but more than enough to get into FSU. (1310 is the minimum for NYU, and since Michigan's average is from 1220 to 1420 I figured anywhere from that or above would be a nice happy medium.) Whatever though, at least I have a goal and I know that FSU and UCF will accept me.

I'm just annoyed that I literally got 5000000000 more reading sections than math. By the last reading section i was ready to kill myself.

And I wish that the essay counted. I got an 11 out of 12. WTF!?

Ugh, oh well. Gotta do better next time on June 7th

Life, Love, Song, and Dance,

DiRito

Freedom Run Away

2008-03-19T23:52:51Z

Holy hell, it's almost over. And not just jr year, but high school as well. THANK YOU JESUS! I cannot wait for senior year to begin. So many new things coming up. New classes, the whole college auditioning deal, new show, and then its a whole new life.

Schedule for next year:

Comp Theatre Honors
Acting 4 Honors
Musical Theatre 3 Honors
Eng IV Honors
Trig Honors
AP Gov
AP Art History

Alts:
AP Comp. Gov
French III
Music Theory

And Colleges I want to audition for:

University of Michigan
Boston Conservatory
SUNY Purchase
FSU
University of the Arts
UCF
(First 3 in that Order, rest probably but maybe not)

Favorite family ever. He's a University of Michigan grad.

This is all

I also cannot wait for spring break. Visiting FSU, UCF, and UF!

That's all.
Peace Out,
DiRito!

You Better Shut Up or Get Shot Down

2008-02-14T01:03:31Z

"We build a treehouse,
I keep it from shaking-
Little more glue ev'ry time that it breaks
Perfectly balanced,
And then I start making
Conscious, deliberate mistakes"
- The Last Five Years, Nobody Needs to Know, NLB

I really do fucking hate february, other than mine and friends' b-days. Everything just seems to go wrong in february.

My brother got sent away Feb 14, 2002
I got into a fight with Bree Feb 1, 2007
Family hasn't even bothered doing anything for my B-Day Feb 2008

Plus, he better pray to holy jesus above that he does not do anything to piss me off before the month ends. I hate him, there is no other emotion than fucking hate for that dispicible piece of absolute shit. He angers me unintentionally in minor ways all the time, and when it's intentional, it's fucking beyond acceptable. How dare he hit on an ex-crush when he knew I liked her and flaunt it in front of me because I decide to be a friend to those in need than a flirt to one who can honestly wait another day.

AND HOW DARE HE INVADE ON MY LIFE AND READ A NOTE OF SECRECY BETWEEN ME AND ANOTHER AND TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT! I HOPE HE REALIZES HOW MUCH THIS CAN POTENTIALLY FUCK ME SO HE CAN STAY AWAY FOR A WHILE OR I WILL HAVE TO FUCKING PUNCH HIM!

I can't stand it anymore. I've never had anyone outside of my family irritate me so much. He's just lucky that person who he told (that better be just that person) is non-confrontational and an extremely dear friend of mine who knows how to cool me down. Something has to be done, and I will not restrain myself of anything.

The only thing he is lucky of is that it wasn't anything dire to my life.

I pray to all who bother to read this, please restrain me from doing anything stupid.

romance_stars @ 2008-01-30T22:35:00

2008-01-31T03:37:50Z

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees